Every job has stress, but the workplace environment can seem
almost unbearable when working for an over-demanding or unfair
boss. You don’t have to like your boss, but you do need to be
able to co-exist and co-operate with him for you to be
productive and successful at your job.
Other than a change taking place, as I discussed in the
article ‘Unhappy at Work? A Change is Coming,’ there is no
perfect solution for dealing with a difficult boss, but here are
five suggestions that might make your situation a little less
#1) Think of your boss as a parent and you as
his teenage child.
Comment "I agree with lots of the comments stated here.
My boss has shown me from day one she has a issue with me...."
Have your say
This sounds silly at first, but the
relationship between you and your boss is very similar to that
between a parent and child. Teenagers often have problems with
authority and experience disagreements with their parents.
Meanwhile, parents often create rules the child believes to be
unfair. If the situation gets bad enough, as soon as the child
is old enough he finds a way to move out and make it on his own.
Parents aren’t perfect and neither are bosses - both will make
#2) Do the absolute best job you can.
Sometimes the child misbehaves.
J. Paul Getty once said,
“The employer generally gets the employees he deserves.”
Make sure you are the type of employee you would want working
for you if you were the boss. I know this goes against the
notion of revenge and tucking it to an unfair boss whenever
possible, but by doing the best job possible you give the unfair
boss less ammunition he can use to make your life miserable. He
also might think twice about upsetting one of his better
employees when there are plenty of other, easier targets he can
take aim at.
Don’t draw attention to yourself. Unless you
are the only one your boss has it in for, there should be plenty
of others to draw his wrath away from you. Let someone else wear
the target on their back.
#3) Learn all that you can from
an unfair boss.
We can learn something from everyone we
come into contact with. While from a good boss we can learn good
management techniques, it is also true that from a poor boss we
can learn how not to act. Don’t just suffer, gain something from
the situation that will benefit you in the future. Watch how
your boss handles different situations and make a mental note of
which techniques worked and which failed.
Yesterday is history, it’s over with.
Try not to let your issues from yesterday spoil today. Instead,
start each day with a new, positive outlook, telling yourself
that today is going to be better.
Sometimes we get into a
rut, expect the worse and act accordingly - we subconsciously
force a person (in this case, our boss) to act the way we expect
him to act. Make sure you are not unintentionally adding fuel to
the fire. Starting each day with a fresh slate is the best way
to get past previous differences. Holding onto a grudge only
#5) Take responsibility.
expect someone else to end your suffering.
easy, but it accomplishes very little. Worrying about a problem
won’t make it go away while losing sleep and dwelling on an
issue only makes it seem worse. You will never be happy if you
are focusing on worry. If you are truly in a situation that is
causing you pain, you need to begin taking steps to improve the
The Roman Philosopher Sallust said, “Every man
is the architect of his own fortune.”
Have you actually looked for another job? Have you tried to
improve your skills through in-house training, adult learning
centers, books or correspondence courses? Even the smallest step
in the right direction is progress. An obstinate boss won’t
change his ways, but you can improve your own skills. Why not
let your difficult boss be the motivation you use to better
About the Author:
Gary Mosher is co-author of the award-winning ‘Buddha in the
Boardroom’, the book that shows you how to excel in today’s
chaotic and stressful workplace environment, available from
Bodhi Tree Publishing, LLC at
I agree with lots of the comments
My boss has shown me from day one she has a issue
with me. I continue to do my best and try to use
the visual of the organization I work for as
motivation and not her as a person. She is
triggering all sort of insecurities from my
childhood and I keep taking the high road. I hope
that with time things will work out
There are many times in a person's
life that they come across an idiot but we can
always learn from an idiot as well. Grass is always
greener on the other side.
I have a similar situation. It does help for me to
pray that she will be blessed, and she was, and that
made my life easier. She is at the top of my prayer
list, which was hard to do at first, but it does pay
Being able to bless a boss or a
superior who has treated you unfairly is a difficult
yet honourable thing to do. I agree with this
gesture however, because the situation is out of
your hands. She has the power here. I am in a
similar situation right now and am realizing that
sometimes we can do nothing but learn from these
types of events. Although I am devastated and have
even been lied to by my superior on several
occasions, the one lesson I can take away from this
is to never treat others the way I am being treated.
I can at least be proud that I am a decent human
being with respect and kindness towards others
I have been working with a bullying perfectionist
for the past two years. In tears I went to our human
resource department. They did nothing about the
bully but tried to gave me tips on how to handle
one. The tips were for people who are willing to
communicate. My boss was not. What I discovered was,
a perfectionist bully thinks people in their
environment are mere objects to manipulate for their
need for control. When you do not meet their
unexpressed needs they think they get to punish you.
The bodies of previous assistants are piled high
outsider her door. I contacted a labor lawyer about
my situation. He recommended I find another job. I
have been looking however with our economy the way
it is finding one has been taking awhile. What I
have learned is not to take what she says
personally. I envision a teflon suit of armour around
me so that whatever negativity goes back to her.
Most of all I bless her. Holding in this way has
made me stronger and less fearful. In our last
meeting she said she could not trust me to do my
job. I simply replied she has not trusted me ever
and until she does the work I do probably will not
get any better. If she expects my work to improve
then I expect to be treated with trust and respect.
Please also add advise about the
situation when the boss is unfair to a person
because he is unduly favouring another employee. You
can't protest loudly as he can ruin your career.