Having a loving relationship is life's greatest joy, and
ending one brings about one of life's biggest sorrows. Ending a
relationship is never an easy thing to do. On the contrary, with
your partner's feelings at stake, it is one of the hardest
things to do.
It is often as difficult on the person who is ending the
relationship as it is on their partner. You have been intimate
with this person for months or even years, and can't bear to
cause him or her any pain. You might feel guilty for causing the
breakup. You may have sleepless nights thinking things over and
over, afraid that you will regret your decision. Ending a
relationship becomes a challenge to you, and you spend all of
your time thinking of ways to do it without causing your partner
too much pain. You want and need to find a way to cut the ties
as gracefully as possible.
First and foremost, if you are
about to end a relationship, you must do it in person. It is
always better to talk it over in person, and explain your
reasons fully. In doing so, you show sincerity, integrity and
respect. You will know your partner's reaction immediately, and
will be able to achieve closure more quickly.
It takes
courage and thought to end a relationship personally. Choosing
the right words will allow your partner to understand your
reasoning, and accept your decision. Meeting your partner
face-to-face is infinitely better than saying things on the
phone, by email, or even through a letter. As difficult as it
may be, this needs to be done in person, where both of you have
eye contact, and can see each other's reactions.
Before
you break the bad news, give your partner a warning sign. By
saying something like "we need to talk", you're alerting your
partner that you are serious, and preparing him or her for a
possible breakup. You will soften the blow of the revelation,
and prepare your partner to better accept the bad news. However,
once you drop the initial hint, be sure that you talk to your
partner sooner than later. The waiting time can be uncomfortable
and cause your partner more pain.
When you have ended the
relationship you must stand strong, stick to your decision and
be sure that your partner has the clear message. If he or she
won't accept your decision right away, give your partner time to
take it in, but don't offer false hopes of getting back
together. Say your words sincerely, maintain an eye contact and
leave no room for doubt. When your partner argues or becomes
emotional, you will feel guilty but you must not back down. As
cruel as you might feel, this is the best way to minimize the
pain that your partner will feel.
One of the most difficult events that you will ever face is
ending a relationship. However, if you know exactly what to say
and how to deliver the message, you can create less pain for
your partner, and less guilt for yourself.
About the Author:
Jennifer Taylor enjoys writing for several popular online
magazines, on
family and
home ideas subjects.
