Gretta and David fell deeply in love in their mid 50’s. They
were both astounded at the level of passion they experienced.
At the beginning of their relationship, nothing got in the
way of their time together - not chores, children, work,
friends, or “stuff”. Nothing was more important than their time
together.
However, when they got married and started
living together, their passion seemed to fall by the wayside.
Sometimes they didn’t make love for weeks at a time. They called
me for a session to see what was wrong.
Half way into the
session, David hit the nail on the head. “We never seem to have
time for each other anymore.”
“What are you doing with
your time now?” I asked. “Getting stuff done,” they answered.
“Why is getting the stuff done more important than time
together?” I asked.
As we explored this question, both
Gretta and David discovered that they had been brought up with a
strong work ethic: “Get everything done before relaxing.” “Work
before play.” What they didn’t realize was that their “doing”
was in the way of their “being.” Without having time to be, they
had no emotional and spiritual connection with each other, or
with themselves. Without their connection, there was no desire
to express themselves sexually, especially for Gretta. Gretta
complained that she didn’t feel connected with David and didn’t
enjoy sex without connection, yet she made no room in her day
for the time to connect.
How many of you plan time for
yourself - to connect with yourself and with your spiritual
guidance? How many of you plan time to connect with your partner
or others in your life?
Creating time to connect with
yourself means setting aside time each day to just be with
yourself. When you plan this quiet time - to pray, meditate,
dialogue, journal - you create the space to connect with Spirit
as well. It is when you are quiet and in the moment with
yourself that you will hear the voice of your spiritual
guidance.
Creating time to connect with each other means
planning time to do nothing with each other, as well as planning
fun time together. It means sitting together on the patio and
watching the sunset. It means having a cup of tea together
before going to work. It means watching a video together, or
taking a walk. It means getting into bed way before bedtime to
cuddle and share your day with each other. It means getting up
early enough to share your dreams with each other. It means
planning a date night together at least once a week.
Your
relationship with yourself and your partner will always suffer
if you do not plan time to connect. This is not a luxury -
something you do only after you’ve finished everything. This is
a necessity for your own health and well-being as well as the
health and well-being of your relationship. You will never
finish everything you need to do. There will always be “stuff.”
But the wonder and passion of life will pass you by if you do
not schedule in time to connect. This time needs to be as
important as the time you take to eat, sleep, and work. It is
only when you see it as essential to your well-being will you
make it a very high priority in your life.
Gretta and David decided to set aside a half hour each day to
sit on their patio and do nothing with each other. In addition,
they each decided to set aside another half hour - when they
were usually doing stuff - to connect with themselves. It didn’t
take long for the passion to come back into their relationship.
About the Author:
Margaret Paul, Ph.D., best-selling author of eight books,
including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You" and
co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn
Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding
course:
http://www.innerbonding.com or
email her at mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone Sessions.
