The words, “I’m sorry” can get us out of trouble when we’ve
done something wrong or hurt someone we care about but the key
to a good apology is really meaning it and convincing the other
person that you are truly remorseful. Apologizing just for the
sake of keeping the peace is not an effective way to apologize.
In doing so the recipient of the apology will most likely see
through you and realize that your apology is insincere. A
sincere and well timed apology, however, will help to mend the
relationship that was harmed by your words or actions.
The most important way to prove that you are truly sorry for
hurting someone is to ensure that the hurtful action is not
repeated. Apologizing over and over while continuing to make the
same mistake shows that your apology is not really sincere. On
the other hand if you really mean that you are sorry for an
action you will take careful steps not to repeat this action.
Apologizing for your actions is one thing but being cautious not
to repeat your actions really proves that you are indeed sorry.
Being specific regarding the reason for your apology also really
proves that you are sorry. Many people are quick to offer an
apology when they realize someone is upset with them but often
they don’t take the time to figure out why the other person is
upset. Apologizing without stating the reason for the apology
shows that you don’t understand the problem and that you aren’t
sincere in your apology. This is not an effective way to make an
apology. However, if you offer a specific reason for your
apology you are proving that you understand what you did to hurt
the other person and that do not want to repeat that action.
Another way to prove that your apology is authentic is to be
sure to offer the apology in person. Having a third party speak
to the person you have offended or apologizing via email or
voice mail conveys a lack of caring. This kind of apology shows
that you aren’t truly sorry for your actions. Meeting with the
person face to face to have a sincere conversation and offer
your apology is one way to really prove that you are sorry. It
shows that you care enough about the other person to meet with
them directly to try to make amends for your contributions to
the disagreement.
In apologizing, if you want to prove
that you really mean it, be careful not to place blame on the
person you are apologizing to. Your apology is about telling the
other person why you believe that you did something wrong. While
they may have contributed to the situation, now is not the time
to point out their faults. Instead take full responsibility for
what you have done wrong. Accepting full responsibility for your
actions and apologizing for them without placing blame on the
other person will prove that your apology is sincere.
A
genuine apology will also include telling the other person why
your actions were wrong and how you intend to avoid hurting them
in the future. Doing this proves to them not only that you
understand you were wrong but that you understand why you were
wrong. It also lets them know that you have already formulated a
plan of action to ensure that this situation does not arise in
the future.
The timing of your apology can also help to
prove that you really are sorry. Waiting too long to apologize
may show that you don’t really care and that you are simply
apologizing as an afterthought. An apology that is made too
early may risk being ignored because the recipient of the
apology is still too upset to listen to what you are saying.
It’s important to give the other person a chance to vent their
anger and calm down before rushing to apologize. After a
reasonable amount of time approach them and let them know that
you understand their anger and believe that it is justified and
that you wanted to give them a chance to calm down before
apologizing.
Sometimes it is not enough to simply apologize for your words
or actions. It is often necessary to not only apologize but to
also prove that your apology is sincere. A truly sincere apology
proves that you are sorry by addressing the issue and
acknowledging what you have done wrong while validating the
other person’s right to be angry and addressing how you will
avoid similar actions in the future.
About the Author:
Sandra is a sought after relationship expert. Get more advice
and wisdom from Sandra by visiting her blog at
http://www.relationshipblogonline.com.
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Comments |
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i don't even know what to say
about this. its not useful no, yet its more than
useful cause it is what i was looking for and what
others are still looking for. Well enough said. I
find it very very very useful... from t.d lusaka
zambia |
