Let me share 3 rules that I used as a parent, hypnotherapist,
NLP trainer and energy worker. Children need to perceive you the
parent are someone who will listen to them so that they can feel
relaxed.
Children give you hints in many ways. Some two year olds
throw temper tantrums because they perceive that no one is
listening. I guess as parents some of us are to busy and
stressed out to listen.
A friend told me about a young
lady who had a young child. When the young lady came home she
would rush to the bathroom, but she would forget to change her
son's diaper. Consequently, the young child was only expressing
it's feelings of discomfort by kicking up a fuss through actions
of screaming and shouting in order to get attention.
As
the young child gets older they may ask questions, and as
parents you may hear but not answer. Children need to be
acknowledged so that they have the feeling that they have been
listen to. Otherwise, they will continue to seek an avenue that
matches the desire to have their attention satisfied.
A
similar analogy would be a period at the end of a sentence; If
you have a very long paragraph with no periods, then you have a
long run-on sentence. Imagine how stressful and difficult that
would be to read.
When my children were younger I had 3
rules.
Rule 1 - If I did not answer their questions, they
had permission to remind me that I gave them permission to ask
me questions.
Some questions ask of parents are difficult
to answer because we were never really trained to be parents.
Rule 2 - Whenever I was asked a question by my children to which
I did not have an answer. I would tell my children that I will
think about it and get back to them by a specific date. This
technique gave me some breathing room and helped me to be in a
less stressful state of mind.
Rule 3 - One of my children
told me to tell her "maybe" if I did not have any answer. She
explained that "maybe " to her was hope that she would get what
she wanted.
Children need to feel as though you, the
parent is listening to them. It helps them "empty" their
thoughts and feeling rather than letting them bottled up and
exploding like fire crackers.
If children feel that they
are not listened to, then their behavior can become focused
towards getting the necessary attention at any cost.
You
may hear what your children have said but you may be too busy
doing other things for example, watching television. Because
their perception is that you are not listening. although you can
repeat everything that they have said.
When talking with
your children you need to find the time to always look them in
the eye so that they do not feel as though you are always too
busy to find time for them.
In conclusion, you a need
feedback system that allows your children to give you feedback
especially when you get caught in the stress of living. This
feedback, if based on your permission, allows your children to
interact with you without fear of punishment.
This results in you becoming a parent who is a better
listening, less stressed parent who now enjoys the trust of your
children.
About the Author:
Cecil McIntosh provides Relaxation Resources, that will turbo
charge your health, business and wealth. To receive your free 7
day Relaxation course. visit this site now:
http://www.emptyyourcup.com
