Ending a relationship is never easy. When you feel you must
end a relationship most people find it challenging as they have
feelings towards their partner and do not wish to hurt them.
More often than not, breaking up is as hard on the person ending
the relationship as it is on the person being broken up with.
Realize that a person is breaking up has nothing to do with
caring about another person. Caring about somebody and wanting a
relationship are not the same.
The majority of people on
this planet do not like to hurt others, especially somebody they
have been close to. Guilt has been used more often than not to
keep relationships together. Fight this urge and believe in
yourself.! When you allow guilt as a way to stop a break up you
not only cheat yourself out of having a good and true
relationship, you’ll foster resentment towards the other person
which could lead to greater pain and heart ache in the future.
Why would you want to be with somebody who makes you feel bad by
allowing you to feel guilty? Respect yourself!!.
A man
should exit gracefully by planning the break up, to minimize the
grief caused to his partner
Don’t just ignore her hoping
she will notice and go away. You might have learned a little bit
about push /pull as a term we use in seduction. That only tends
to bring somebody in closer. Which is the exact opposite of what
you want.
. The I think you're a great girl and I don't
deserve you line will seem ok to her at first, but later on she
will start to resent that. She could also go into how you DO
deserve her and try to convince you.
Honesty really is
the best policy. Treating the relationship, and the person, with
respect and dignity helps soften the blow.
When you
break up, Do it in person. Show some integrity and sincerity to
tell her that the relationship isn't going anywhere. In our
workshops we teach how verbal communication is only 7% of the
total communication between people. If she also sees closed off
body language it will be easier for closure for her eventually.
Telling somebody you are breaking up in person is never easy,
but you owe it to her to break the news to her personally. This
means not on the phone, definitely not over e-mail, but rather,
face to face where she can get eye contact and read your body
language. The universal line of “ we need to talk.” should be
given in advance. This allows her to prepare for what is coming
and helps soften the blow a little bit. Do not put too much time
between the “We need to talk” and actual breakup as the waiting
time in between is very uncomfortable if delayed long.
On doing some research on this I read a suggestion about
breaking up in the exact same place you met if possible. This is
to suggest that the relationship has completed a circle. A place
where she has a lot of happy memories might help neutralize some
of the new sad ones.
Ending a relationship gracefully
means speaking our piece without blame or judgment and not
taking responsibility for another’s feelings. It is important to
make eye contact, and give body language that is open while you
are communicating (which suggests you are VERY open to what you
are saying) than give closed off body language after finishing
your piece. To suggest you are not open to hearing anything
else. Say your words sincerely, leave no room for doubt, and
never back down- especially when she starts to cry and you feel
horrible.
Than give that person some space usually a
few months at least. Do not try to get cozy with the person as
this can really mess with somebody’s head a lot as they will use
this as hope that you are getting back together. This is the
only way to keep pain to a minimum when ending a relationship.
Robert Torrey
About the Author:
Robert Torrey is one of the trainers for Fidentia. Fidentia
teaches men (and soon women) how to meet just about anybody and
get that other person to pick you up. Subscribe to their free
newsletter for more info and check out the website
http://www.badboycoaching.com/dating_tips.htm
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Comments |
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can see the point but its
informal! it wouldn't work for married couples/
couples with children and those living together so
then what?? |
